From the Resident Artist …

Enjoying Every Moment

We’ve gone about this several ways.  We’ve told all of our loved ones that we were expecting, waiting for the rejoicing to begin only to be crushed with negativity.  We’ve enjoyed the little blessing all to ourselves while waiting with trepedation and fear of the pain that would ensue with an announcement.  We’ve told only those that we knew would pray and waited to tell the ones that would be less than pleased.  There have been a couple of blessings that we have had all to ourselves because they went Home before we had the chance to tell anyone.

This time we wanted to do it completely different.  We are so thrilled.  It amazes me how people take life and God’s handiwork for granted.  Right now, even as I type, God -the Creator of the entire Universe, all that is, all that ever was, and all that there ever will be- is busy.  He is busy creating a new person inside of me.  This is something to rejoice about!  This is something to enjoy!  This is a miracle.  God chose me.  He chose me to house this little life, to nurture, to shelter, to love while He is still knitting. 

We don’t want there to be any doubt in anyone’s mind.  This baby is a blessing.  We will not keep him or her a secret for fear of negativity.  We will not keep him or her a secret out of fear that we may have to share that he or she has gone Home before us.  We will enjoy every moment God gives us with this baby.  If we are only given 6 weeks while I still carry him or her within, then PRAISE GOD for those 6 weeks. 

Last night we took the children to pick out a stuffed animal.  They didn’t know what we were doing or why we were there.  Once a stuffed bear was chosen, we had them guess who it was for.  I will never forget the smile that lit up Abigail’s precious face once she figured it out.  Ian, too, had a goofy grin on his adorable face, but he didn’t want to guess out loud.  Emily, well, it took a bit of talking for her to understand but once she did, her beautiful little face also broke out into a world record smile.  Katherine, well, Katherine will take a while longer to understand, but I’m sure that she will enjoy her new baby brother or sister just as much as her big brother and sisters have enjoyed her.

God is so Good!

He always provides above and beyond.  The other day we were on the way to the ReStore to see if they had some things we needed for the house.  Just a quarter of a mile from the ReStore there was a lovely desk from the 1940’s on the sidewalk with a FREE sign on it!  We loved it.  I am typing on it right now.  I forgot to take a picture, though. 

So, we made it to the ReStore.

Found this chair that I fell in love with.

Sonny said that we could have it for $10.  The only problem was that we already had the desk bunjeed to the top of the van.  We said that we would be back the next day.

So, when we came back the next day, we saw this coffee table.

I loved it.  Tommy asked how much for both the table and the chair.  He said that for us, it would only be $25 for both only if we promised to take the toys on the porch.  A HUGE play kitchen, register, and more play appliances than I’ve ever seen.

We had also been scouring Craig’s List for a good deal on a piano, but hadn’t found just the right one yet.  Well, my Tommy’s mom called the other day and said that we could use theirs.   It still sounds beautiful and now the children can practice at home!

Disclaimer:  After looking at these pictures I did vacuum, I promise.  Good gravy, I had just vacuumed earlier!

Oh yeah, the biggest gift of all?

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Menu

Beefy Rice Soup and Sourdough Bread

Potato Soup and Sesame Crackers

Apple Smothered Pork Roast, Sweet Potatoes, and Spinach Salad

Pot Roast with onions, carrots, potatoes, and Bread

Pot Roast Tacos

BBQ Chicken, Macaroni and Cheese, Baked Beans, and Broccoli

Pizza

Pizza

Spaghetti, Salad, Apple Sauce, and Bread

Garlic Chicken, Parmesan Green Beans, Mashed Potatoes, and Cranberry Sauce

Loaded Baked Potatoes and Salad

Loaded Baked Potatoes and Salad

Creamed Chicken Over Toast,  Bacon Sautéed Squash and Onions,  and Salad

Sausage, Green Beans, and Potato Stew

Perfect Children

Yes, go ahead.  Laugh.  Perfect.  That’s what I was told.  My children are perfect.  Well, I do choose to remain positive and always show my children in their best light.  I also always want to be an encouragement to others.  Typically, I choose to be an encouragement to young mothers by focusing on the many, many blessings of motherhood.  There are indeed more blessings of motherhood than I could ever count.

This post will not showcase those blessings of motherhood.  No.  On the contrary, this post will be one of the very rare “keeping it real” posts.  Are you ready?

Sunday morning my Tommy had to get up early for a meeting at work before church.  Why they choose to hold monthly meetings on Sunday morning is beyond me.  I had a bit of a choppy night’s sleep and had gotten to bed very late the night before.  I’m sure I offered him a kiss and a mumbled good bye before he left, as I do recall hearing the engine start to the van.  Anything other than that and I’m not so sure.  At some point the children, my lovable little blessings, woke up.  They all came in and piled ontop of me to cuddle for a while. 

The cuddling could really only last so long.  One by one, I’m pretty certain that Ian was the first, they got up and started playing quietly in my room.  I half way came to conciousness when Abigail shut my bedroom door so Katherine wouldn’t wander out.  I tried really hard to bring myself to at least three quarter conciousness and with extraordinary will power said, “Clothes.  Get clothes.”

My dear, sweet children just looked at me like I was sprouting a new head.  Abigail came over, sat beside me, and rubbed my head.  Then she said, “Mom, what clothes do you want us to get?”

My brain tried to function.  After a moment of useless wheels turning I said, “It’s up to you.”

They happily went to hunt down clothes and came back with last year’s Christmas dresses for the girls and a matching shirt for Ian.  I nodded my approval with my eyes still shut.  Abigail said, “Mom, do you want Emily and me to take a shower?”

“Uhuh.” came my grunted reply.  Then in a split moment of alertedness, I grabbed Katherine and asked her to cuddle so she would stay out of the bathroom.  She was happy to oblige.  She even read me a book.  If you’ve never had a one year old read you a book, I’ll just let you know that it doesn’t involve reading, but having said book pounded into your already throbbing head.

Ian came up and cuddled with us for a moment.  Then he just couldn’t take it any longer.  He sat in the middle of my bedroom and gathered all of the toys around him.  Why, you ask?  So that he was in the perfect position to throw toys through the bathroom door and land right in the bathtub where the girls were showering.  Just a side note, I make them shower sitting down.  I know.  Crazy.  But, those tubs are hard.  So, the girls not too thrilled with having toys showered upon them got clean as quick as they could and came out to get dressed.  When I heard the shower turn off I told Katherine that she could go get her dress and bring it to me.

She must have obeyed, because the next time I woke up the dress was covering my head.   I heard mumbling and giggling coming from somewhere.  Mumbling is never good.  Mumbing combined with giggling is scary.  Then I heard Abigail say, “IAN!  What are you doing?”

I pried my eyes open enough to see that Ian was crouching just over Katherine.  He had something in his hand.  Gulp.  It was a glue bottle.  Gulp.  He was pouring it straight onto Katherine’s precious blonde head.  Then as I was trying to formulate the words to make him stop, he retrieved a CD from his other hand and slapped it right onto the glob of glue on Katherine’s head.  Yes, indeed.  He thought it would be a good idea to glue a CD to his sister’s head.   He had thought it out so well, that prior to administering the glue to the beautiful head, he peeled the shiny coating off of the CD so the glue could attach to a flat surface.  Good thinking.

The words finally escaped my mouth and he put the glue away and tried to clean her up.  Yeah, cleaning Elmer’s glue off of each tiny strand of hair.  Somehow, sleep still pulled me back.  This time when I woke up Ian was opening and attaching pads, yeah you know the ones, all over Katherine like he was playing pin the tail on the donkey or something.

I was finally able to reach a state of alertedness that enabled me to remove my body from the bed and stand.  I got Katherine as clean as possible and dressed in the dress Abigail had so sweetly chosen for her just in time for Daddy to finally get back home. 

I stared at him as he walked in the door with my sweats still on, my hair going in more directions than legally allowed, and the side of my face still red from the pillow.  I sweetly pulled him to the couch where I told him as sweetly as possible that from now on, whenever he leaves the house, his male offspring shall join him.

Yes, indeed, my children are perfect.

Ian’s First Piano Lesson

Ian had his first piano lesson today.  He loved it.  Mrs.  Bonnie is great with them and she makes it hard not to love music.

Here he is showing Mrs. Bonnie how many fingers he has.

Here he is finding fingers numer one.

The most difficult of all, number four.

Don’t you just love that face?

Wordless Wednesday- Celebrating 10 Years.

 

And because there always has to be an out take …

 

Abigail was trying to take the picture of just my Tommy and me when the other kiddos bombarded us.

Tenth Anniverary

Ten Years!!  We have been married for ten years!  I can hardly believe it.  It’s been a wonderful journey, sure we’ve had our share of trials, but we’ve suffered them together.  I have to say that we have been blessed way more than we have been tried!

After church, we took the kids to my mom’s house where she fed them lunch and they played all sorts of wonderful games with my mom, brother, and soon to be sister in law while we went out on a little date.

We went to one of our favorite seafood places on the Potomac.  The changing leaves across the beautiful glistening water is something I have always loved.  My Tommy spoiled me with shrimp, crab melts, hush puppies, grapes, and in house chips.  After we ate we took a tiny walk down their pier and laughed about the time that we went there with my Mom and her husband on their boat  for dinner and ended up having to tow another boat across the way to Virginia. 

Then we went to Chapel Point Park, which is really nothing but a ton of woods backed up to the Potomac, offering ten feet of sandy shelly. rocky land to walk and fish.  We took a walk along the river edge and sat on a downed tree (that once was gigantic in the sky, now is being turned into a beautiful piece of driftwood) and talked and sang for a while.

Then we went back to my Mom’s and enjoyed the evening with the kiddos, my mom, my brother and my soon to be sister in law.  We let the kiddos fall asleep and are staying the night here.

I forgot how much I love being able to look out the window whenever I want and see the glistening water.  It’s been a great day.

Mothers

 We’ve all been there. Busy, busy with a project leading up to a special day. I can remember many tech weeks where I ate, drank, and breathed whatever show I was working on. I would fall exhaustedly into bed, every muscle in my body rebelliing, only to wake up a few short hours later to start all over again. My dreams weren’t really dreams, but thoughts about what we had to do next and reviewing what we had already done. Then. The day would arrive. The day that I would awake by no prompting other than the excitement buzzing through me. My eyes would fly open, my brain would try to catch up with my heart and figure out just what the specialness of the day was. Then in an instant, I would remember. It’s opening day! The day when all of our labor, heart, and time would be shared with others.

I can also remember many nights working on a child’s birthday preperations and cake until 3 am, only to be awakened by my own excitement three hours later. A special day. A day to rejoice in the birth of one of my children!

I’m sure you all have those memories. Perhaps a special trip, a get together with special friends from time gone by, or a date with your husband. Today, I had an awakening such as that. My eyes flew open, my heart pulled me out of bed, though my body was still confused. My mind searched and searched, what is special about today? There is something special about the day … WHAT is it?

Then it came to me in a rush. Today, I get to be a mother. I get to be a mother to my children! How awesome is that? They only have one mother, and that is me. There is only one me, and I am it. I am their mother. I am blessed beyond measure and need to live my life to reflect that.

We’ve been under personal attack lately and my focus has slipped at times. Last night when I was putting the kids to bed I realized how much of me I was holding from them. My worries, my pain, my thoughts all occupied my time when I should have been giving all of that to God, giving all of me to Him. When I give all of me to Him, He directs me to them. My children had been missing out. I resolved right then that I would be my children’s mother today. I stayed up late last night finishing up some chores so that I could start our day as stress free as possible.

I woke up this morning excited because today, I get to be a mother. There is no job like it. No, not one. We, as mothers, have the responsibilty of shaping little lives into extraordinary people. There are no do-overs in raising children. Every minute of every day counts toward something. What will your day count towards?

 

A Whispered Birthday

Our Anna would have been four today.  I’ve been an emotional wreck all week leading up to it, it’s almost as if my emotions are aware of the calendar even more than I am.  Since the first anniversary of her due date we’ve had a whispered birthday party.  I call it that because I am the only one that knows what the special dinner and cake are for … the kids just think we are having cake for no reason, which is pretty cool to them.

Well, today we had to go to BJ’s and I really didn’t feel like it.  I had Emily and Katherine in the cart (Emily doesn’t usually ride, she’s a big girl and walks, but at BJ’s she loves that she can sit right next to Katherine.) and the bigger two were right beside me.  I’d been crying all morning again and it was just tiring to put one foot in front of the other, I couldn’t even think about facing other people.

In a moment of utter despair I just silently cried out to God and told Him that I needed a hug, I needed Him to hold me up long enough to get through the store.  A few minutes later, both Katherine and Emily from their places in the cart, put their arms up and wrapped their four arms around my neck pulling me down to lay their heads on my shoulders.  That was it.  I knew that was my hug from God. 

Those two bring such an amazing joy into my life, I can’t imagine ever not having them and I thank God for them every day.  I think Him for Abigail and Ian, too.  It’s just that even as I desperately wish I could know what Anna is like, I know that if I knew that, I would never have had the chance to know Emily and Katherine. 

  Four.  I love four year old parties because the birthday child really knows what a birthday is by then.  They are full of enthusiasm, and life.

I wonder, if Anna were here, what she would choose for her cake?  A princess?  Maybe a tea pot?  Perhaps just pretty flowers.  What would she have chosen for her birthday meal?  It’s these questions that have no answers that get me every time.  What would her favorite color be?  How am I supposed to plan a party for a four year old without knowing these things?

I still remember her first whispered birthday like it was yesterday.  But it wasn’t yesterday.  It was October 16, 2006. 

I’ve been dreading this day for weeks now.  What would I do?  How would I keep my hurt inside?  I think the anticipation of the pain was more heartwrenching than the day itself.    I woke up this morning feeling like I didn’t have enough to do.  We had baked oatmeal for breakfast and carried on just like any normal day.  I kept thinking of how busy I should be.  I thought of the tasks I longed to be doing.     After lunch I decided that I would not pretend that it was a normal day any longer.  The children and I  made a delicious chocolate fudge cake.  I set to prepare a nice dinner.      First birthdays are so fun!    Though, this first birthday was a whispered one; only celebrated in my heart.  My Anna didn’t even make it to half her term of pregnancy, let alone a real day of birth on her due date.  Who would ever imagine the lack of celebration would hurt still?    For all first birthdays I make two cakes.  One for the well wishers and a tiny one just for the birthday child.  This birthday cake was no different.  I made a tiny heart saturated with whipping cream and embellished with red sprinkles to go atop the big cake.   The family enjoyed the dinner and especially the wonderful treat of cake for “no reason”.    I impressed myself when the tears stayed in check while I whispered a Happy Birthday to my Anna when cutting her cake.  After the children were in bed I slipped outside for a walk in the cool night.  I took her tiny heart cake with me.  I walked down the street singing happy birthday over and over through tears that did not want to stay checked any longer.    I closed my eyes and pictured myself holding the cake for her to blow her candle out.  At one point I glanced at the chocolate smudges on my fingers and thought of how that chocolate would have looked smeared all over a tiny little face.  Oh, the desire to know what that face would have looked like!  With a giggle and a smile she would squish her yummy discovery between her pudgy fingers, lifting those fingers to taste.  Look at Momma squeal of delight would escape, a wriggle of excitement …   The whispered birthday party was loud and joyful with my eyes closed.  Then it was time to open my eyes.  They opened to the stark reality that I was still holding a whole cake.  An uneaten, unplayed with, unsmeared cake.  What was I going to do with it?  I didn’t want to eat it.  I didn’t want anyone else to eat it.  It was the birthday girl’s cake.     It is now in my freezer.  How long it will stay there, I have no clue.  But that is where it is, and where it will stay for now.